Chronicles of Tanya

Lets say one day me and my daughter tanya are going out grocery shopping.

Lets say we get into the elevator in our building.

It is approx. 6ft x 10ft.

Lets say for some reason the elevator starts to shoot up and reaches the 27th floor.

Lets say a woman and a man get into the elevator

Lets call her Ms. Tight Pants and him, her boyfriend, Mr. Armani.

What say we drop 'lets say' and get on with the story....um?

She looked like someone out of Vogue and he a meek sidekick. She was upset with him for some reason and in that oh-so-sexy accent was blasting him nonstop. Her tongue was rolling without control and it kind of sounded musical to me but for the horrible reflection of her face i could see on the walls of the elevator. Mr. Armani saw that i saw. eeks! Embarrassing!

And me Ms. High Maintenance was thinking how ill-mannered these Europeans are and how bloggable this topic is. And suddenly a very audible sharp voice asked Ms. Tight Pants

"Are you a girl or a boy?"

Yes. That was my daughter. 

The woman i say looked soooo womanish (if you know what i mean!) that it would be considered blasphemy in her dictionary. You can imagine her shock. She went speechless. 

Mr. Armani( i'm almost certain) looked ready to laugh outright but some sense made him stop. I just started with my apologies when the elevator opened again and more Armanis and Tight Pants got in. We were on the 9th floor now.

You see here i have to enlighten the ways of my daughter a little bit.

She never stops asking the same question until she gets an answer.

Yes. She did it again. Overpowering everybody leaning appropriately looking straight at her went again, 

"Are you a girl or a boy?" . I know what you are thinking. She's just a little girl and nobody is going to mind but i tell you when there is only 6x10 ft space inside, you wish the elevator would just plummet down. 

Anyway like all moments that pass this did with my more profound apologies and a curt "Stop it" to my daughter. 

But just when i thought i had come out of that space with dignity, i added

"I'm sorry. You see i still haven't taught her how to differentiate!" 

Now the laughter was audible. Very audible!

I could have said a million appropriate things but in moments like this i feel the tongue has a mind of its own!

The elevator hit the lobby and boy i've never been so relieved to meet the ground.

And yes i answered her question into her ears and whisked her out of the building..

One more 'not to do list' for my daughter while getting out of the door

Don't hit the alarm bell

Don't press all the floor buttons in the elevator.

Don't ask "Are you a girl or a boy?"!!