Thursday, December 13, 2007

Chronicles of Tanya

Lets say one day me and my daughter tanya are going out grocery shopping.
Lets say we get into the elevator in our building.
It is approx. 6ft x 10ft.
Lets say for some reason the elevator starts to shoot up and reaches the 27th floor.
Lets say a woman and a man get into the elevator
Lets call her Ms. Tight Pants and him, her boyfriend, Mr. Armani.
What say we drop 'lets say' and get on with the story....um?

She looked like someone out of Vogue and he a meek sidekick. She was upset with him for some reason and in that oh-so-sexy accent was blasting him nonstop. Her tongue was rolling without control and it kind of sounded musical to me but for the horrible reflection of her face i could see on the walls of the elevator. Mr. Armani saw that i saw. eeks! Embarrassing!
And me Ms. High Maintenance was thinking how ill-mannered these Europeans are and how bloggable this topic is. And suddenly a very audible sharp voice asked Ms. Tight Pants
"Are you a girl or a boy?"
Yes. That was my daughter. 
The woman i say looked soooo womanish (if you know what i mean!) that it would be considered blasphemy in her dictionary. You can imagine her shock. She went speechless. 
Mr. Armani( i'm almost certain) looked ready to laugh outright but some sense made him stop. I just started with my apologies when the elevator opened again and more Armanis and Tight Pants got in. We were on the 9th floor now.
You see here i have to enlighten the ways of my daughter a little bit.
She never stops asking the same question until she gets an answer.
Yes. She did it again. Overpowering everybody leaning appropriately looking straight at her went again, 
"Are you a girl or a boy?" . I know what you are thinking. She's just a little girl and nobody is going to mind but i tell you when there is only 6x10 ft space inside, you wish the elevator would just plummet down. 
Anyway like all moments that pass this did with my more profound apologies and a curt "Stop it" to my daughter. 
But just when i thought i had come out of that space with dignity, i added
"I'm sorry. You see i still haven't taught her how to differentiate!" 
Now the laughter was audible. Very audible!
I could have said a million appropriate things but in moments like this i feel the tongue has a mind of its own!
The elevator hit the lobby and boy i've never been so relieved to meet the ground.
And yes i answered her question into her ears and whisked her out of the building..

One more 'not to do list' for my daughter while getting out of the door
Don't hit the alarm bell
Don't press all the floor buttons in the elevator.
Don't ask "Are you a girl or a boy?"!!


18 Comments:

At 1:04 PM, Blogger Cosmic Joy said...

This was hilarious!! I can only imagine your discomforture :) My lil one too asks some really awkward questions, but your lil Tanya wins hands down!

 
At 11:20 PM, Blogger Nithya N said...

When i had a short haircut infamously called "boycut" , one kid ran behind me and kept asking "tu didi ho ya bhaiyaa?" all the way to my class past two guys hostel. SO LOUD. i turned around and gave her sniggering mother a nice long angry look. yes, that's what i did. and for worse. because she came on and took the kid away and so the kid found that this is the source of amusement so kept screaaaaaming until i had to run.

 
At 2:31 AM, Blogger Swetha Iyer said...

Heheheh rolling on the floor...u sure have a way with words..and your daughter provides you all the inspiration u need i suppose. :))

 
At 6:04 AM, Blogger m.flowerr said...

Hahaha........i can sense the embarassment on your part,but your wit with words is uber-cool!!

 
At 8:43 AM, Blogger c e e d y said...

I love the post and specially the TITLE....very clever - just that made my day - thanx - hey dont stop that kid fro masking questions or doing things - this is her age to explore and enjoy - common you C&H fan - if Calvin was stopped would we have had this brilliant book :)

 
At 1:36 PM, Blogger prabhu said...

It was not sense that stopped Mr. Armani, it was the wrath of Kali. Hilarious post btw. :)

 
At 2:09 PM, Blogger Preethi said...

To all the dudes and dudesses who commented - Thank you for ur kind words. Didn't find any in the elevator ;)

@cosmic joy: oh yeah, her wins are of a diff kind..;)

@ nithya: oooooh! But u see you cud run! Thank ur stars for that ;)

@swetha iyer: mmmm... she does all the ground work for me. Although i would prefer a less dramatic one ;)

@m.flower: 'uber-cool'. now thats a cool word!;)

@ceedy: dear ceedy, when i read C&H i'm always calvin, never his mother! he he heee

@prabhu: Finally u r in my comment box again! :p
BTW ...thanx ;)

 
At 5:44 PM, Blogger c e e d y said...

here the link I was talking about....just my take on the horrendous situation of housing here:
http://ceedyreflections.blogspot.com/2007/08/american-nightmares.html

 
At 1:47 AM, Blogger Compassion Unlimitted said...

Amazing let out..Now all I am interested is which overpowered you..tension or laughter..out here Cdnt control laughing for few minutes
LOL
TC
CU

 
At 1:14 PM, Blogger Preethi said...

@cu: mmm.....I shud admit that i was tensed first bordering to being an ordeal!! looking bck of course i'm laughing! he heee hooh hooo ha haaaaa

 
At 11:39 PM, Blogger Chandru said...

Hi dear, am lying my lazy ass on the couch its 11:30pm and i was wondering if u posted something new. Boy am i not glad i took a peek, i got to say Tanya is just like her mother only difference is...she is yet to learn the art of being discreet (which i hope she doesnt) :) Neways i was laughin so hard i broke my window panes thanks a ton keep em comin :)

 
At 10:19 AM, Blogger Preethi said...

"Keep em comin??!!" Now that's a bad deal to strike with my daughter!! ;)welcome back..

 
At 1:55 PM, Blogger Solitaire said...

This is too funny!!!!!

 
At 5:50 PM, Blogger divya said...

thatsss so cute!! kids can get away with so much!!

 
At 11:44 PM, Blogger Preethi said...

@ solitaire: thats right!

@divya: sadly.... mothers can't ;)

 
At 8:37 AM, Blogger KP said...

thatz funny I think you should let her explor her curiosity.....;)

 
At 7:23 PM, Blogger Preethi said...

@ kp: mmm... that might in this case be a problem, donchathink?? ;)

 
At 10:00 AM, Blogger KP said...

lol...i guess i dont think so...b/c a kid ask q....if it was u or me (adult) asking it indeed is a problem....:)

 

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