Tuesday, January 29, 2008

You're invited....

No feminists, MCs or politically right statements please... I'm fed up!
You'll know why in just about a minute.....
Anything true, honest is welcome with open arms...

So what do you think happens when families meet up in the US.
Young couples/ young couple with kid(s) get together for dinner mostly.
It gets interesting after this.
You see i was and still am new to these things.
Even though i love meeting up with people, getting together for such meetings is one of the most boring things that a woman can go through in her life. Why you ask? Will get to that in a short while.
You ask why do you go then?
I like the feeling of being included. Simple.
Lets move on now, You reach the designated house around 7ish. 7 families invited.
Here is the interesting factor.
The males and the females get split up.
Women enter one of the rooms after the 'hai, how are you?' factor.
The men stay in the den. Mostly the host keeps them interested with things...

The women start with their kids,
schools,
mini achievements,
then move on to recipes,
then some healthy gossip,
more recipes,
restaurants. Stop.

Before i forget
healthy Gossip= no body bitches about anybody, no swear words (kids are around!), just information gets passed on about the ones "not invited for the party". Nobody can ask why they weren't invited because "It's personal choice". You don't ask such personal questions!!!!!

Then you'd think some real conversation will happen...... but
The women start with their kids,
schools,
mini achievements,
then move on to recipes,
then some healthy gossip,
more recipes,
restaurants.

"World just goes on round 'n round" la la laala laaaaaaa whatever.....

Then the hostess forgets that she's supposed to pass on the starters(the first course) to both men and women, I offer to help. ('cos that's what you do! you offer to help, never mind the fact that you're seated cosily in a corner)
But lo behold what do i find out? The men are having the Real Discussions in the den- Google story, stock markets, books!!(spcl hugs), movies, intrepretations of the movies, unknown factors about the same, asteroids.........

I'm with the plate full of starters and forget about distributing, start eating them, find a seat and join the gang!

After 5 minutes.....
Rashmi (name changed) peeps from inside.....
"Preethi what are you doing here?
We are missing you inside!!"

And i'm thinking Why? why? why? why the hell are you missing me?

Then i say "Oh! just found the conversation here a little interesting for a minute" (smiles smiles)
I can distinctly see the crease, mild frown appearing on her face....
It vanishes in a second,..........

She says ....Oh God these guys can never talk about anything else but movies, sports and stock markets and weird stories....

And i'm thinking 'Exactly!'

But i follow her.................. (sniff! sniff!)

27 Comments:

At 1:07 PM, Blogger c e e d y said...

hehehe...
damn you have captures it so well....brilliant!!!!!

i come to a point when i am not a part of either group....

girls as you described above...

guys money, buzzness, jobs, stock markets....(sorry to me even this is boring after a point cause nobody talks happily...all are cribbing )

and nobody talks intellectual - so wat do i do - i play wid the kids and become a kid ;) or simply take my rum/coke and venture to the balcony and talk to the stars....(and avoid winter parties mostly :)

 
At 1:27 PM, Blogger Preethi said...

ha haa good choice. wid the kids et al.
Yes they can be creative and entertaining.
But i personally go somewhere for a brk from the grind.... so being wid the kid can get as boring too for me...
What about
movies, weird stories, unknown facts, asteroids ..... in the men's topic that i've mentioned, they can get very very intellectual if you give it some time .... discussing concepts and ideas.

 
At 1:49 PM, Blogger c e e d y said...

hehe
yeah i can understand - wid kids being around you need a break...

i did not mean i always venture away....its sometimes....yeah if the conversation is gud then I am all in....but if you end up meeting two three times a month...then....

probably its just me....i love being with people but always feel lost.....wat to do :)

 
At 2:56 PM, Blogger Preethi said...

I am guilty too.. I am usually found with the guys having a great conversation.. and usually I don't care.. I do get along with the women too.. I just love people.. so it doesn't matter.. But I know what you mean.. thankfully most of our friends have accepted me for that.. and let me be ;)

 
At 2:57 PM, Blogger Preethi said...

oops.. see reading your post, I forgot why I came here.. You are tagged missy!

 
At 7:32 PM, Blogger prabhu said...

"The males and the females get split up."
This is the part that I really don't like. It is still too common among the desi crowd but not so much with the "foreigners." ;)
Also, of note is that this tends to happen more when you meet/visit acquaintances than jigri dosts. I guess it takes a lot of familiarity to break the ice and for men & women to converse freely.

 
At 9:39 PM, Blogger Thinking aloud said...

i'm so much in the same boat...i can't stay else people think i'm acting weird...but why can't we have a decent conversation together?

you should have stayed and then seen the gossip veer around to you :)

 
At 10:44 PM, Blogger c e e d y said...

you are tagged - take your time :)

 
At 3:52 AM, Blogger romila said...

Good post! most times even I find myself starying from the ladies talk and catching up with the guys.

BTW, I finished the tag. Enjoyed doing it. Thanks.

 
At 8:52 AM, Blogger Preethi said...

@ preethi: good for you :) as prabhu has put it in the next comment, there is a diff btw jiggri dosts and acquaintances i think.

@ preethi: tagged!! will pick it up. I'm still excited eventho' it is tag no:2 he heeee

 
At 8:56 AM, Blogger Preethi said...

@ prabhu: exactly! i don't understand the logic there! i'm sure men and women studied together and worked together, what has changed now? And i also think if they are together the topics will be varied. All these women are really smart then why remain inside a box?

 
At 9:06 AM, Blogger Preethi said...

@ thinking aloud: ha haaa. I have a lot of company i see.... maybe WE shud all get together!!! Right you are.
I have stayed and have witnessed the mild reprimand! in Mumbai! They have no clue what a decent conversation is. And i seriously think some of them have twisted minds.

@ romila: one more here!;) You know how many times i feel so lost?! when I call ppl over i make sure there are no other rooms other than the den. he heeee. maybe someone would get the cue.

 
At 9:09 AM, Blogger Preethi said...

@ ceedy: Tagged one more time! tag no:3. I'm still excited! will pick it up man....

 
At 9:32 AM, Blogger KPs View! said...

no clue why they divide themselves based on gender.........

Must be a trditional thing, surprisingly no one ever question at this parties(at least not the ones hold at my house by my folks)

To be honest..I hate this parties...those aunties ask u too many questions (for which....i got no answer)

PS Obama is in trouble....Hillary won Florida.

 
At 9:48 AM, Blogger Preethi said...

@ kp: well, didn't quite get you completely there. but i'm thinking this doesn't happen at ur place...if so good for you
ps: I'm more worried about Mc. Cain now!

 
At 10:23 AM, Blogger KPs View! said...

hehehhee....("i'm thinking this doesn't happen at ur place")I wish ur words were true......i wish it was good for me!

"Must be a trditional thing, surprisingly no one ever question at this parties(at least not the ones hold at my house by my folks) "

It is traditional thing....What i meant men on one side and womens on the other side...and kids in between, it happens only at indian parties.....I meant no one ever says this is not right(questions). In this parties...I endup as a waiter(serving people...:( thanks to my parents....I dont earn much tip...lol)


Good point about....Mccain resume is impressive.....:) It will be tough one to pull it out.....

 
At 1:29 AM, Blogger The Depressed Doormat said...

My cousin sister recently narrated a similar incident. I wonder why this happens in Indian society. Worse still, is the fact that it happens only when couples are concerned. If the population is single, I don't think the same problem exists.

 
At 9:16 AM, Blogger Preethi said...

@ kp: gotcha.
And hey i don't voice out this opinion in the parties either. But have questions nevertheless.... someone there might also have one. You could suggest your parents to turn it around a li'l bit eh? And waiting w/o tipping is cruel man. But .... eh......can i have some vodka pls.... :P

@ dd: Right. I don't think anybody will show up to the party if the same happens when singles meet up right? Singles at couples' parties will fall into the same rut. I've seen that too....It is amazing how so many feel the same about all this...

 
At 11:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Preets, as much as your write-up reflected the truth, it was hilarious ! I could see you getting bored with the ladies' yap-yap. This isn't just about 'couples meeting abroad' , the phenomenon is almost the same on home ground too :)

-- Sowmi

 
At 1:52 PM, Blogger Deepali said...

hahaha i like the way you put why why why. you know what would be MOST hilarious - starting a 'guy' conversation in the womens group. There faces would all be kodak moments. Of course you probably would never get invited for any more parties hehe.

 
At 10:43 PM, Blogger Preethi said...

Hi sowmiiiiii, ......heng iddiya?
i was looking at anonymous and thinking who is it who is calling me preets???? how do they know this ?here u are... yes U can see me all bored here right? Remember our vow to never fall into this rut. I'm just about holding up!! :( humor just adds a li'l flavour ;) keep making more pleasant visits here. Aaitha? hey id u update ur blog?

 
At 10:47 PM, Blogger Preethi said...

@ deepali: u won't believe it, i tried that too. Surprisingly some of the women did turn out interesting but it lasts for 5 minutes and they are sucked back in by the non-interesting ones! But it is gud fun playing these games. If i had company i'd try more.... ;)

 
At 1:44 PM, Blogger Cosmic Joy said...

You are correct about how men and women tend to graze (in many instances) within their own groups at social gatherings .. wish it wasnt so .. luckily its not always the case either :)

As for the conversation topics .. i am sure deep down, many of the people present have many interesting things or topics in their minds to discuss, given a chance .. however, since you are in a social gathering, you tend to only talk about stuff you think will be politically correct or appropriate for the majority .. and so you end up not being open enough. Just my opinion.

 
At 8:48 AM, Blogger Preethi said...

@ cosmic: mmmmm.......yes u may be right about not feeling comfortable enuf to open up. But topics on movies, books , trivia stuff, news is not too much to ask. Ask ur wife what women talk when in a gathering, i'm sure she'd crib abt it too :) all of them just grow up automatically, kids, family, school, recipes and SALE... it can get tiring...

 
At 11:55 AM, Blogger Barath said...

Good one.

I have read this somewhere.

Great minds talk ideas...small minds talk people!

To add a lil more to it...its the versatility that matters...how fast and how happily you move from a great to a small mind is extremely important to survive and grow especially in the biased desi environment such u mentioned!

 
At 10:48 AM, Blogger Preethi said...

hey barath, welcome to my virtual world... yeah you are right... that keeps me going here too. i'm smiling and happy and what not...

 
At 6:59 AM, Blogger Renu said...

U echoed my sentiments, i always hated it when we separated ourselves in two groups men one side, women other side. Then I always enjoyed the conversation more with my hubby's friends than their wives. Fearing that i wud be branded fast-I suffered those boring talks with the women only.

 

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