Friday, February 29, 2008

Me, myself and I.

My daughter's school admission finally came through two days back after being on a waiting list for 8 months ...
So what is so great about the occasion? I'll tell you. It is no less than a life changing moment for me. That's what is...
This post is not about how I'm going to miss her when she goes to school.
Although I will, immensely but i'm going to be more selfish here and talk about what it means to me, myself and I.
This post is on behalf of all those women who love their career almost 
as much as they love their family but have to sacrifice one for the other.

It has been 4 years since i stepped into 'my' office. Motherhood has been awesome but
I cannot deny that i have longed to create my professional identity.
I know many of my friends who are content doing their household chores. 
I admire them immensely. They've had similar dreams as mine but had no qualms 
ending it and taking on the role of a family woman in a jiffy.
They've remained content, happy and totally at ease.
And Yes, i've asked them personally and they've all assured me that they are perfectly happy.
With all my heart I wished for a similar change in me.
I wished for it because it would then make so many things easy for me. Constant battle within me would stop for  a start. I wouldn't feel that the whole world is moving on without me....
'Change' never came....
I always wanted more out of life. 
I wanted more from me. 
I wanted to make money.
 I wanted to climb the corporate ladder. 
I, I, I, it never stopped. 

I know a few mothers who have their family members at home to take care of their baby,
or appoint a nanny and start where they left off. Pick up their professional life and move on.
I admire them too. They are so sure of what they want more and i'm sure they've had some
hard decision-making moments but in the end found their balance. 
I could not do that too.
I could not imagine leaving my darling with someone. I always thought I was the best for her.
Nobody did a better job than i. Who will feed her like i do? Who will love her like i do for most part of the day? Nobody! 
All i could do is wait for my little darling to grow up a little and start her journey on her own.
No longer searching for her mother's eye looking for her approval,
no longer running to her arms every time somebody starts to pick on her.
(She throws her own punches nowadays :))

Yesterday i took her to her new 'school to-be' and introduced her to her teacher Ms. K and her class. She joined them without looking back.
She sat down and started painting with a brush that was given to her. After about 10 mins she joined an exercise class and performed pretty well. All the while i was standing in a corner watching her in her new second home. She was happy. That's all that mattered. And Ms. K and her class took to her pretty well too. She already had a chinese friend (a boy, might i add!)

Now, my journey begins, once again. I wish I had her courage to join the world without looking back....

Wish me luck :)






30 Comments:

At 12:41 PM, Blogger prabhu said...

That is a wonderful news. All the best...! :)

 
At 1:16 PM, Blogger Preethi said...

Good Luck girl.. Its been 2 years since I dropped out of the rat race and I have been egging to go back.. but not yet!!

 
At 2:10 PM, Blogger Deepali said...

Good luck.

What did you do in 'your' office before?

Also only one piece of advice - which I know you already know but we all fall into the trap of believing we can 'deal with it' - Don't bite off more than you can chew. I end up doing it often enough and then when I know what I am doing and want to stop I don't get the option. Well such is life...

:)

 
At 12:59 AM, Blogger c e e d y said...

cool atleast now you wont have to worry about the sun....

but something new worries....(made in china ) kinds....

 
At 10:19 AM, Blogger Preethi said...

@ Prabhu: Thanks man. Will call ya..

@ preethi: Thanks. lemme know when you decide to go back :)

@ deepali: You can't be more right. I have thought about that too. But can't hesitate without trying now. Can i?

@ Ceedy: :) right. This chinese product though i suspect was made in US.

 
At 2:36 PM, Blogger Cosmic Joy said...

Your situation is very similar to my wife's. I wish you the very best in maintaining the right balance :)

 
At 7:18 PM, Blogger KP! said...

wish you all the best and good luck....:)

 
At 5:34 AM, Blogger romila said...

Hey! Preethi, Hearty wishes from me too. I'm glad you made the decision to start of from where you'd left. I'd been through that deciding boat too, believing myself the irreplaceable super mom, while my heart nudges to join the world. So far, so good with a few personal sacrifices made. I'm happy, my kid seems happy, healthy, fed, clothed, bathed, properly.

Don't worry, you'll do well at both. Just be prepared for some balancing act.

 
At 6:11 AM, Blogger m.flowerr said...

all the very best to you in your personal and professional life!!

 
At 8:57 AM, Blogger Preethi said...

@ cosmic
kp
m.flowerr

Thank you guys for those encouraging words :) It really helped.

@ romila: It is really nice to know that i'm not alone.
I'm sure it'd have been difficult for you too. 'balance' seems to be the key word.

@ deepali: i forgot to write about 'my' office..
advertising (copy writer), proofreading - American corporate office. these were 'my' office spaces!
Need to enter in a whole new career here - HR!

 
At 12:28 PM, Blogger Deepali said...

Hehe I am a half copywriter too - not a very good one but I get by.

I'll as you the same thing I must have asked Prerna (PK) half a dozen times - Why HR?

Haha she keeps asking me why I ask and I tell her it's not the best thing to be doing. When I met her I asked her and she actually look at me funny.

 
At 1:16 AM, Blogger Nancy said...

your feelings of motherhood match so much with mine. all the while i enjoyed motherhood, i also wanted a bit of space for myself & felt guilty for wanting it. Do i make sense :-p? so i waited till my youngest joined KG & then started to work.

Wishing u all the best in ur future endeavours.

 
At 10:11 AM, Blogger backpakker said...

all the best ..there is always that the identity that we all want and its important that we get it as long as we balance life and its needs

 
At 11:58 AM, Blogger Thinking aloud said...

hope you work out that balance...It is a dilemma which haunts most mothers...

wish you all teh best...

 
At 12:18 AM, Blogger Nithya N said...

i can totally relate to this post. In fact, i was just discussing this with my friend last night. Most girls seem to be fine with spinning their lives centered around just this one thing- family. I'm not too sure if I envy them or sorry for them.

 
At 10:03 AM, Blogger Cosmic Joy said...

You are being missed! Come back from wherever you have disappeared.

 
At 7:37 PM, Blogger c e e d y said...

what a co-incidence - cosmic also commented today - where did tanya take you - hope all is well....

finally did that 6 word tag....

blogworld beckons you

 
At 11:42 PM, Blogger Deepali said...

In Preethis words 'Too many htings happening at the same time'. Also she misses her blog ('but not enough') hehe.

Where are you preethi? Mid-week ho gaya.

 
At 4:33 PM, Blogger Preethi said...

Dear Cosmic, Ceedy and Deepali ( My island pals ;))

Thanks so much for your support you guys, I feel like some1 from the 'friends' episode he heee. Well, the stupid job searching has kept me away from the best stress buster in town ...blogging.

hey Deepali, Mid-week ho gaya aur abi tak huch bhi nahi mila. I was hoping i'd say I"M IN THE BUSINESS. :(
Thanks for your promise to 'interview' me. If and When i come back to mumbai, will land in ur off demanding for a job!! no kidding here....and no interview too he heeee

Ceedy: Aree yaar, thanks for the beckoning, will come and write something light hearted tomoro. Promise. And what's the new look with the stubles et al he heee cool, what happened to ur black and red template then? Will visit your page today....

and finally :)
cosmic: wise guy, i miss this world too. I was inside this huge monster ;) the job site!! he heee any wise cmnt for me..... I need it.

 
At 5:46 PM, Blogger Cosmic Joy said...

I liked the "island pals" terminology :)

Monster, hotjobs and dice are a distant memory in my case, but I can definitely relate to the experience .. the ups and downs of the process. Just hang in there and wait for break that is bound to come by soon.

And while you wait, a good site to spend that time is blogger :)

 
At 6:37 PM, Blogger c e e d y said...

The template is still the same...

It just spring time :) so sprouted some fresh lawn.....

I like cosmics comment - and he is absolutly right - BLOGGER is a very good site to spend that extra moments....

 
At 2:42 AM, Blogger Deepali said...

Arre no problem. Aa jao. If you can't get hired as a copywriters, I'll sell to you how great operations (my functional area) is and give you a job as an ops. It's simple and we are always looking for people :)

Job hunting can be so painful. I am glad I won't have to do too much of it, if I plan to stay in the same line :) job offers always ready at competitors if I need them hehe.

Keep it going though. You can't find something unless you really look right. Goodluck

@ cosmic - what like the terminology? This is from the tag. You never even answered which blog friends you would want at the island with you.

@ creedy - arre yaar blog ka look bhi kuch badlo. the red and black is so painful to read off.

 
At 9:42 AM, Blogger Cosmic Joy said...

@deepali - I did the tag as per the rules. And the terminology at that point was "blog buddies". I think I like the "Island pals" better :P

Anyways .. since my pals have already answered, does my answer matter any more ?? :)

On a side note, it feels nice to hijack preethi's blog when she is not around!!

 
At 4:42 PM, Blogger Preethi said...

@ nancy
backpakker
nithya
thinking aloud:
Thank you guys for such personal comments, good to know that many go through this and they all succeed. Gives me something to look forward to. Will keep you all posted on that front :)

 
At 4:43 PM, Blogger Preethi said...

@ cosmic: I'm here now. And i'm watching you , watching you, watching you.......... ;)

 
At 4:42 PM, Blogger Pavi!!!! said...

hey preethi..visiting u after long..hope its not too late to say "Good Luck to u n the Li'l one"..

I'm sure the new chapter in ur life will be great

n as for the li'l one...oh, she's beginning one of the best times of her life...school time.It'll be a looooooong chapter!

 
At 9:46 PM, Blogger Preethi said...

@ pavi: :) :) Oh! Its never too late. thanks for the wishes and yes her experience has been wonderful so far...

 
At 6:01 AM, Blogger Chandan Chawla said...

Hey all the best...Have known many working women who face similar situations, so can relate to it reasonably well... Hope the best for you !

 
At 4:40 AM, Blogger NiSh said...

wow thats amazing.. is going to be quite an eventful journey but memorable one...
all the very very best :)

 
At 8:41 AM, Blogger Ann Dee said...

Could not have read just one post and left. This one too welled me up. I wonder if all Preethis are great people to know!

Especially liked: My journey begins, once again. I wish I had her courage to join the world without looking back....

I am postponing having a child for this same reason you know. There's so much I want to do and I fear what if I fall so much in love with the kid that I am distracted and give in to spending most of the day with her/him then anything else!

 

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